March 14, 3 years A.B. (after-baby)
Dear Jo,
Today was the day you realized that miracles do still happen. Some have called you a skeptic or even a pessimist, though we both know that the proper term is “realist.” Regardless of semantics, you have never been one to easily believe without first seeing and then analyzing. But now you are a believer.
For the last couple of days, Emerson’s naptime has become a struggle of the wills…his vs. yours. On day one, I’m sorry to say that even though he eventually went to sleep, he would be considered the victor. Let’s just say when he was finally sleeping soundly, you needed to give yourself a serious time out. On day two, you prepared yourself for the challenge ahead and won the battle by playing the I’m-taking-away-your-trains-if-you-don’t-lay-down-right-now card.
So here you are at day three. Again, you prepared early for the battle, figuring you would once again be removing his trains from the post-nap toy options. You read some books, sang a few songs and then it began. He wanted to sing more. Nope. Please? Nope. You felt the battle emerging. He reached for your hair and began playing with it (since birth this child could find even the smallest distraction to keep him from sleeping). You said, “No, you aren’t going to play with my hair, but I will play with yours, while you go to sleep.” You began running your fingers along his eyebrows, across his forehead and through his hair. And then you heard it. It was faint at first, so faint that you questioned whether or not you were actually hearing something. But as you listened, it grew louder. You could hear the long, slow inhale with a short snore as it turned to an exhale. He was fast asleep. And it had only taken a few minutes. You wanted to dance. You wanted to cry. You wanted to clap or shout with joy. Instead, you lay there quietly smiling. Did this really happen? Did he really just fall asleep with no struggle, threats, explosions, crying fits or tantrums?
Do you know what the crazy part of all of this is? It isn’t that he went to sleep without a struggle. It’s how elated you are and how victorious you feel because the three-year-old took a nap. Could such a simple act of falling asleep really make you this happy? The answer: absolutely. The last few days have acted as birth control. The question of having more kids had been answered. Your patience and temper were taken to the limits and beyond. How could you possibly have another child and go through all of this again, especially when something as simple as a nap could get you so riled up?
But then this little miracle happens. No sea was parted. Water did not become wine. The blind did not see. And yet it was so much more than the simple act of a child falling to sleep. Call it what you may, but your sanity knows the real definition. Miracles do still happen.
“Dear Jo: A Diary of a Modern Mom” is a serial fiction story written by Meagan Church. Stay tuned for the next diary entry of one mom’s attempt to chronicle what she has been told are the days she shouldn’t forget…spit-up, tantrums, milestones and all. Visit the Dear Jo page to catch up on the already-published entries. And, be sure to subscribe today, so you don’t miss a single installment:
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