Before Mother’s Day

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Photo courtesy:  BrownGuacamole website builder.
Photo courtesy: BrownGuacamole .

With Mother’s Day just a few days away, I have been thinking about the moment when my journey to motherhood began…or at least became real. As I’ve said before, I was reluctant about becoming a mom. I liked my life as it was and I wasn’t sure how adding kids to the picture would change things. I suppose you could say I liked feeling in control, and if there was one thing I knew about having kids it was that control goes out the window once they are born…and sometimes even before that.

For me, the moment when it became real that my life was going to forever change was the morning I peed on a stick. I sat in the bathroom and watched the line appear to tell me that I was pregnant. I know that some women first dream of becoming mothers when they are little girls playing with dolls in their rooms. Me? I always preferred stuffed animals. On that morning, while holding the positive pregnancy test, I didn’t feel the joy or elation that many commercials and movies show. Instead, I took a deep breath and muttered, “Well. Here we go.” Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t upset, but I was definitely uncertain and a bit freaked out.

Suddenly questions swirled in my head: would I have morning sickness? What’s the likelihood that I could have twins? What would labor feel like? Would I know how to care for a baby? Should I practice changing diapers? When do we need to baby proof? How soon until they sleep through the night?

It has been seven years since I took that pregnancy test. And, just as my pre-kid self thought, things have in fact changed. I’m not the same person I was before. But, I’ve come to learn that that’s not always a bad thing.

So, tell us, what did you first think when you found out you were pregnant? What sort of thoughts went through your mind? What emotions did you feel? Were you excited, scared or a little bit of both?

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