50 Steps to a #blessed Thanksgiving

2 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Pin It Share 2 Google+ 0 StumbleUpon 0 Email -- 2 Flares ×

Wondering how to pull off a Pinterest-perfect Thanksgiving this year? Then look no further than this quick-and-easy, 50-step guide to a very Instagrammable (or perhaps “authentic” is the better term) holiday:

50 Steps to a #blessed Thanksgiving

  1. Wake earlier than on a typical day.
  2. Locate outfit that you mentally coordinated for days. Place in bathroom for after-shower wardrobe change.
  3. Preheat oven.
  4. Make coffee. All the coffee. After all, your mother-in-law is staying in the guest room for the extended weekend.
  5. Uncork wine. Immediately. Sample it. Twice. Wine before coffee is acceptable on holidays.
  6. Place turkey in preheated oven.
  7. Pour pony beads into small dishes.
  8. Place beads and pipe cleaners on dining room table for maize craft project your mother-in-law will help the kids with, while she stays out of the kitchen.
  9. Take another sip of wine.
  10. Pull cranberries from fridge.
  11. Instagram photo of cranberries. Don’t mention that you grabbed the last bag from the fingers of that hipster in Whole Foods when you picked up the Thanksgiving meal in a box. #blessed #organic
  12. Google how to prepare cranberries and hope you still have time. Don’t worry about whether or not anyone will eat them.
  13. Check likes on Instagram.
  14. Like a few posts in hopes of reciprocated likes.
  15. Wash down coffee with another sip of wine.
  16. Take store-bought mashed potatoes from fridge and place in baking dish before mother-in-law wakes up. Vow to learn how to make mashed potatoes. Add vegetable peeler to grocery list.
  17. Greet children and serve them marshmallow cereal for breakfast. (Focus on the feast as being their nutrition-dense meal of the day).
  18. Taste wine before MIL enters the kitchen and rolls her eyes at the kids’ breakfast. (Taste again when she leaves.)
  19. Give quick instructions on how to make maize corn decorations. Show them Pinterest picture. Answer 27 non-craft related questions and explain that screen time will come when the craft is done.
  20. Instagram photo of kids working on project with MIL. Position fresh flowers in background. #blessed #loveourfamily
  21. Check likes on previous post.
  22. Place store-bought apple pie in rack below turkey. Dab flour on your cheeks for authentic baker look.
  23. Put pre-cooked green beans in pot on stove.
  24. Wake husband.
  25. Stream Gilmore Girls on the iPad in the kitchen.
  26. Pause show before second episode to check on craft project.
  27. Explain to kids that maize should not be purple and pink. Show Pinterest picture again and remove any beads other than orange, yellow, red and brown.
  28. Explain to daughter that her corn is beautiful, but how about making another one with fall colors?
  29. Return to kitchen.
  30. Merge three straws into one long one. Place in wine bottle.
  31. Locate burning smell.
  32. Stir green beans.
  33. Dust off china and locate glasses without water spots.
  34. Open another bottle of wine to let it breathe.
  35. Check on craft project. Decide that purple and pink maize is acceptable, and Instagram. #creative #lifeisarainbow #blessed
  36. Set table.
  37. YouTube napkin-folding tutorial.
  38. Fold napkins into rectangles.
  39. Drink more wine.
  40. Locate new burning smell.
  41. Remove apple pie from oven.
  42. Drink more wine.
  43. Check temperature of turkey and remove from oven.
  44. Locate selfie-stick and call everyone to the table for pre-dinner photo.
  45. Realize you are still in your pajamas. And you haven’t showered.
  46. Take an overhead shot of the table.
  47. Post and check likes on previous pics.
  48. Explain that, yes, kids need to eat vegetables on holidays.
  49. Drink wine.
  50. Give thanks.

Have you downloaded my free eBook “Motherhood Doesn’t Come with Sick Days…and other lessons from parenting”? Also, be sure to join the Unexpectant Facebook community today.

Motherhood Doesn't Come with Sick Days

{Photo credit: ©chandlervid85 – Fotolia.com.}

Save

Save

Save

Save

2 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Pin It Share 2 Google+ 0 StumbleUpon 0 Email -- 2 Flares ×

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *